you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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