Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
This baby is an asshole
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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