I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Randomize
