She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
