Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
