Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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