haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
How external is "for external use only"?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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