Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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