just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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