Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
