you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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