so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I wish you could order shots online.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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