let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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