So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
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