Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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