Umm I'm too high to move.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
