I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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