I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
