Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
