im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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