Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She's like a pop up book from hell.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
