I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
