Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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