You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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