I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
