She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
