I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Randomize
