I cockslap morals
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
