Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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