If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
