So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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