k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Ladies don't puke and tell
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
