He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
