I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
