I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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