Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
