you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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