We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
