im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
