Pappa wants mamma naked
I bet he comes in French.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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