A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
