You can't motorboat a personality
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Are my feet made of real feet?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
