Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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