Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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