she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
