i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
