Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
