Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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