Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
