im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
