on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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