I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
the day after is always just damage control
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
