It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Randomize
